Marriages and relationships

Is it 2 of every 3 marriages that fail? We’re so used to this that we don’t find it shocking anymore. Individualization messes up marriages. Does it? Yes, it does. We come home at night after spending the day at our demanding jobs and we close our front doors. With that, we close our hearts. Behind the doors we try to fit an entire community into a small family of one or two parents and two point three kids. We project all our needs on our partners. They have to be everything to us: partner, lover, best friend, shrink, buddy… and so on. Of course, they can’t, as can’t we be all that to them. We need other people, people that aren’t in the marriage with us. And that should be okay.

We need that to be okay again. It’s completely okay to be in need of connection with other people than your partner. It’s vital, actually, to reach that happily ever after.